That way, everything is fair, and everyone wins.
It's easier than you think. You'll see a new you and you'll feel great about it!!!
If you are tired of losing out on opportunities or being taken advantage of, then you can change the way you are treated through hypnosis. Hypnosis changes the perception others will have of you by helping you change your way of thinking and responses to situations in which you once played the role of door mat.
There is nothing wrong with being nice. Nice people are often respected, and at the end of the day, the kind and considerate guy is the one women want, but not someone who doesn't know how to stand up for himself. However, if being overly nice has made you lose respect in your career or is making it so that you are unable to assert yourself when necessary in relationships or other encounters, then niceness is getting in the way of earning respect.
Hypnosis turns the natural qualities you have to want to appease, please and just be nice into a balance between being considerate and having respect from others. You can redirect the natural responses you make to given situations so that the appropriate response without changing who you are or altering your personality. You can still be nice without giving up your own wants for the sake of others all the time.
No More Mr. Nice Guy is a self hypnosis program created by Clinical Hypnotherapist, Dr. Steve G. Jones M.Ed. It helps you relax so that self defeating thoughts can be removed and confidence to stand up for yourself can take their place. The program works by listening to the messages for approximately 3 weeks. After that time your mind will automatically led you to act in a way that is still nice, but won?t have others walking all over you.
Do you think you are being taken advantage of, or not given the importance you deserve, you're just too nice? You are not alone. I'm Dr. Steve G. Jones M.Ed., clinical hypnotherapist and the idea for this CD and mp3 came from a friend of mine who noticed that sometimes there were moments when if he didn't say anything or don't say the right thing, he really felt like a complete doormat and it was happening over and over again from the same type of people. He said to me, "Sometimes you just get trampled on or walked over." It's not as much about how tall you are or how much weight you can bench press as you might think.
Are you letting yourself be manipulated or taken advantage because you hesitate or because doubts are projecting from your person in a way that just invites people to take a little more? Are you subconsciously saying, please use me, then I will be more valuable to you?
An easy way to begin to fix that is to look at the self-hypnosis programss that will help in other areas, like building confidence, increasing your motivation, and enhancing your self-esteem. At an underlying level you will have to decide, not only that you are not willing to be a doormat, but that you are worth being around, as an employer, employee, father, son, and lover, without "buying" extra love by saying yes to things you don't want to say yes to.
The agreement phenomenon sometimes known as "people-pleasing" usually starts small. Maybe you are doing it because you think it will win you some invisible coin in the 'I-like-you-better-now' bank. Your underlying programming, that you don't really realize is running you, was probably put there when you were very little and couldn't decide, using tools like hypnosis and self-hypnosis and all the other self-improvement tools available to you now, what your underlying thoughts would be.
Whenever we are in doormat mode, the underlying program that is running is basically: The more I do for you that inconveniences me, the more I get in my special "I'm-a-really-good-boy self-sacrificing piggy-bank." That's a rational, reasonable thought. It would then stand to reason that if we just sacrificed enough, all of a sudden the boss, or wife, or kids, or next girlfriend, or whoever it is, would suddenly realize how much we did for them. Maybe they would even realize how much it cost us.
Would they then like us for who we really are as opposed to what we did? Would they one day wake up and say, "Ooooh, you've done so much for me, now I love you for who you really are underneath." Hypnosis, especially self-hypnosis will create great things in your life; it will not suddenly change the laws of the universe. If it could, we would all be married to supermodels.
If you've been creating a pattern where you haven't been listening to yourself, when you wanted to say no, then why should anyone else listen to you?
When it is someone we are close to, or worse afraid of, well, what's the harm in saying yes when a little comprise might make someone else's life easier? Occasionally that's fine if we are really consciously choosing to say yes because we want to and not because it will make the other person happy. That's often the slippery slope. Sometimes that's part of what becomes a huge pattern, saying a lot of little yeses when we should have said, or really would have liked to have said no.
Our minds are complex. Part of our minds wants to do one thing and another part of our minds tells us to do the opposite. That's where hypnosis and self-hypnosis can really help men get it together. Face it, as men we are still expected to be stronger, to provide for, to be masculine, and yet sensitive, and understanding of and for women who are rarely logical. With all the changes that have happened in the last few decades lot of life has been emasculating in general. Standing up for oneself is not looked upon like skill it was back in the 1970s or 1950s or back on the western frontier when you could stand in front of your land with a rifle. (Ah the good old days.)
Life is full of compromises. We make compromises every day. Maybe one of the reasons we compromise a little more than we should is because we want so much for the relationship to "work out". Often because looking for a new one, whether it b job or girlfriend, is such a pain. We want our business environment to be calm. (Even if we are not calm inside.) Maybe we just don't want to have a confrontation. We imagine it will be unpleasant. Hey, most people avoid unpleasantness.
If we are really honest. The largest part of the real reason, deep down, we let people walk on us a little bit or walk all over us is we think this will make them like us better. We are afraid that if we didn't compromise, if we didn't over-compromise, they wouldn't like us anymore. They would fire us, they would leave us, they wouldn't pick us up to begin with, they would take all their toys and go home.
We acquiesce, that's a fancy way of saying we yield to someone else's desire over our own. When we "give in" and let go of what we want that we get into real trouble. When you give away a little part of yourself by not being true to what is right for you, you are being a martyr and you are the only one who knows it. Why do we do this?
Human beings are tribal creatures. We all want people to like us. We want people to like us more. We want our boss to like us more. We want definitely want that hot chick by the CD store to like us.
Here's the thing. You need to like yourself more. First and foremost, hypnosis and self-hypnosis are about your relationship with yourself. Hypnosis is about how you think. Hypnosis is not about your daily random thoughts, running through your head at one hundred and ten thoughts per second. It's about underlying things that really drive you.
This is where you are going to have to make some changes.
It would be nice if we could automatically get people to understand what we want from them. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Here's the basic reason why. One, when someone walks on you, they don't realize they are inconveniencing you. Two, if they did, by some miracle, know they were walking all over you, they would think you were a complete wimp, and rightly so.
The time to start changing how people view you and how you view yourself is right now. But how do I get people to like me? How do I get more people to like me? How do I get someone specific, my boss, my boyfriend, and my neighbors? kids, (the hot girl who works at the CD store) to like me, without bending a little? Women, kids, dogs, and cats (no studies have been done on parrots, but it probably holds true for them too) look for three qualities in a person that make them attractive: confidence, authenticity, and passion about what they feel most strongly about.
Let's say that another way women, (and men, children, dogs, cats and maybe parrots) find three things very attractive, supremely attractive: confidence, being who you really are, gusto for things you love. More importantly than what other people think you will like yourself better if you have confidence, authenticity, and passion.
When you let someone else use you as a doormat, where does your confidence, authenticity and passion go? Who likes you better? I have news for you. The women who use you as a doormat don't like you any better for it. Men who use you as a doormat think you're a wimp. The children might like you better for a minute if you buy their love with candy, but is the trade off worth it? You are setting yourself up as a daddy who spoils his children. Are you willing to hypnotize yourself to get out of it? If you want to make everyone like you more (don't forget the girl at the CD store) hypnosis is the way to go. It might even work on the parrot. I don't guarantee it but the self-hypnosis CD or mp3 would certainly keep him company and then he could repeat the hypnosis back to you in a deep relaxing voice.
People let themselves become doormats because there is a crack in their self-esteem. Everyday life, from the time we are old enough to toddle around brings us experiences, and a lot of those experiences are going to knock our self-esteem. The more knocks we get, the more defenses we build up. The more defenses we build up, the harder it can be make changes. Like a well-armed guard at the door of building, our defenses may be so built up that a new thought might have a hard time getting through and taking hold without some help.
Some thoughts don't need any help to get started.
How many times have you been wide awake in the middle of your work day do you remember when you've been a doormat and an angry, negative, or distracting thoughts interrupts your work? For most people it is like your mind literally highjacks you and takes you where you don't want to go. And like a negotiator in a bad hostage situation your brain takes you a while to debate and negotiate with your mind, playing out different scenarios until finally your mind surrenders and you get it back on track.
Are there other "mental tapes", self-talk voices that war with each other or play out negative possibilities or fantasies, what you would do if you just had the power to "get even" or "level the playing field" or "really let him have it"? How much time do you spend on what you wish you had said?
Sound familiar? Everybody does it to some degree. When you stop and get honest do you do it more than you would like?
The great thing about hypnosis is that hypnosis is a state where you are more open to the suggestions that would really be helpful to your truest goals. The deep goal here is not just to stop people-pleasing or stop being a doormat. The deeper goal is to have such a clear, sure sense of self, to be such an attraction magnet to people of such great quality, that if someone asks you for something (or worse, demands something) that is in the least bit uncomfortable, you intuitively know the right response automatically.
One of the great things about self-hypnosis is that it entertains the well-armed guard (picture a beautiful girl in a red dress asking the guard to take a trip with her down an elevator). Then the new thoughts, the suggestions you decide you want to change your life can just walk in the front door of the fortress, easily slipping through the brain's defenses, and enter the building.
That's what hypnosis does. So with self-hypnosis you can plant and nurture new ideas, improve self-esteem, and give yourself confidence. By replaying they CD or mp3 you entertain the guard with the same deep trance (girl in the red dress, yahoo) and remind yourself to be strong in who you are at a deep level. When you have a self-hypnosis CD or MP3 you play it again and again so that you get your changes from the inside out.
Usually when someone wants something from you, they are only thinking from their point of view, getting what they want. If you don't stand up for yourself right at that moment chances are, you are going to get taken advantage of. If you don't know what to say, just say that you need twenty-four hours to think about it. People will find this unusually coming from you and you may find it difficult.
Really, deep down, no one likes a doormat, not even you. People like people who stand up for themselves and what they believe in. People respect people who say no, even when they don't like it.
Like any new behavior, it's not easy, which is why self-hypnosis is here to make it easier. One important thing is to practice this now! Practice standing up for yourself as much as possible as often as possible, with grace, so that when it really counts those muscles are strong. This is a skill that is vitally important. You don't have to say it loudly, but you must say it out loud and with conviction.
In the end we not only hurt ourselves we hurt all the other people the inconsiderate jerk will walk over later, too. (Not to mention this jerk will never have a chance to grow on a deep spiritual level, that's what I meant.)
Self-help, self-improvement, and self-hypnosis, will help you break this pattern and you owe it not only to yourself but also to everyone you come in contact with now and for the rest of your life to learn a different way of being.
You have to believe you are worth it, deep down. There is no better way than hypnosis, especially self-hypnosis, to improve your inner feelings and beliefs. There is a saying, "To have more self-confidence and more self-esteem do more acts that feel right and are esteem-able."
